You have many questions. Because
you feel, that you are missing something. It is not always easy to find the right words
for it. Sometimes there is confusion, sometimes inner emptiness or being deeply
unfulfilled. On the other hand it also happens, that suddenly a Moment of inexplicable
clarity or joy emerges. Unfortunately, these moment are mostly short. But from that moment
on you know, that there is something - a level in yourSelf - where everything is
fundamentally different. Being within you invites you to realize ItSelf. Actually,
"The Eternal Feminine" draws us onwards" (Goethe). It won't get out of your
mind anymore and your Quest has begun.
Step 1: Awakening/Mindfulness
"Normally" you are
continuously taken in tow by your thoughts, emotions and desires. You are rarely in your
center. Yes, you don't know your center at all, really. Thus, how to know, that
"you" are in thoughts all the time? Sooner or later you may be hearing of the
possibility of inner freedom, though, something in you, that you really are, your true
identity. Awakening means, making an inner leap to your True Self. It is the realm of
freedom from thinking. You are "here" (your inner observing) and your thoughts
are "there" (in front of you). It is the first step back toward your Origin.
Sitting in a relaxed way in a chair two times a day 10 minutes with the eyes closed. Watch
the inside of your eye-lids. You will notice, that you are here and your eye-lids there
(on which you project your thoughts). Thus, you are not your thinking. See: Awakening
Step 2: Personal
Together with the inner distance space
is created. More and more you acknowledge, that in Essence you are actually spaciousness.
Gradually you will rely more on the inner reality. Through this you would drop your
(ego)control. Everythings is flowing unhindered through you. Among them undigested remains
from your past. More often you will be confronted with rejected contents: pain, fear,
anger, inferiority feelings and inhibitions. You understand, that these are all parts of
yourself, which in the past were too painful to be accepted. Now, you will have your
second chance to still integrating them. Becoming aware and healing (integration of the
personality into the new identity) are two sides of the same coin.
Self-integration: spiritual, psychological, physical. See a.o.: Emotional
self-integration, The Personal Health Plan in 10 Steps with nutrition, bowel
cleansing etc. See: www.vitalworld.org
Step 3: Being Rooted in Heaven & Earth
At the same time inner openings become
more and more large. Initially you are only the inner watcher. Slowly you will experience
moments, in which awareness is expanding itself more. For instance, you sit on a rock and
"suddenly everything drops off". Suddenly there are no thoughts nor worries
anymore. You are dissolved into a Moment of inexpressible clarity. Everything is as it is,
without you being able to still adding something to it. From that moment on you know, that
your Consciousness is bigger than yourself. Not only yourself, but your environment as
well are part of the One Great Consciousness: your Self. Ergo: you embrace/love everything
Method: Heaven and Earth Exercises e.g. Tiendi Qigong. Unique
exercises, that have little to do with the common Qigong. From the very first moment your
Within determines the course of the movements.
Breakthrough of the Light
Slowly you will start feeling, that the
Path requires less and less effort of your own. It seems, as if you don't move toward
Being, but that Being is drawing you within. In the beginning the longing (toward
liberation) is still coming from your small self (ego). Now you start noticing, that that
"the Origin is longing for you". If that is the case, then time is ripe, that
you may be responding to the longing of the Ultimate. It is the invitation to (still) more
going into depth. Intensive meditation is supporting you with that. With every new opening
you touch the Divine in you. Inner peace, joy, strength, connectedness and compassion are
increasingly penetrating you. You know: my deepest within is part of the Divine Light.
Nothing can bring you out of balance anymore. Joy, joy, gratefulness.
Method: Ma-Zen (Mother-Zen). The Zen, that brings you to the
Origin without effort. It is based on feeling awareness.
One thing you didn't realize, though.
Namely, that also after a Great Experience you sooner or later will once again be
confronted with your ego. Life resembles a flower. It continuously opens and closes.
Certain teachings - e.g. that claim "once enlightened, always enlightened" -
prove to be false. The Divine regularly "withdraws", in order to giving you a
chance to working on further integration ("Dark Night of the Soul"). The
greatest obstacle is the ongoing temptation to use your Realization as support for your
(ego)ambitions or worse: "I, the great enlightened one". Secondly, because of
your Great Opening-Up unprocessed complexes (hatred, self-pity, need for recognition etc.)
can draw the energy of the Light toward themselves, blowing themselves up. With the Light
increasing, darkness also increases. The latter becoming stronger all the time. With the
danger, that after some time the "widersacher" takes over your entire system.
(especially) after a Great Experience continuous inner Purification/Healing
is a necessity. Apart from Personal Integration
(see above) fasting, Mother Healing,
catharsis, breathing and the vibration exercise are at your disposal.
Step 6: Refuge
in the Great Mother
Blessed are those, who on the one hand
do everything themselves to follow the Path toward ultimate Liberation, Peace and Joy, but
on the other hand - through their own experience - come at a point, where they have
transcended the ego. At his stage, you are not able to do anything yourself anymore. Or
the struggle against ego-temptation has exhausted you to such an extent, that the only
option is to give up all self-effort. In both cases only one thing remains. It is the Path
of Surrender. Often you will be spontaneously drawn in e.g. an irresistable longing
emerges to surrender to the Unknown. In reality, it is the Great Mother, Who is longing to
take you in in Her Cosmic Womb. From then on you live in Her All-Embracing Security. It is
the completion of your Quest.
PS. Anyway, you will
experience, that the Path isn't lineair, but cyclical. Confrontations with your small self
- the contents of your Consciousness - won't stop. With every new level of Consciousness a
new understanding and a more complete integration will be achieved. Thus, step 1-7 are
continuously being passed through (spiral process).
may support your longing to returning to the Origin by e.g. contemplation, celebration,
dance, mantra, chant and offerings. See: Mother Worship/Sunday
Celebration. See also: Refuge and especially also Turn On.
With every step your compassion will be
growing as well. While awakening it is your clarity; while doing personal integration it
is love for your own suppressed parts; while being rooted in Heaven and earth it is the
expansion (of awareness) into your direct surroundings; while realizing the breakthrough
of the Light it is the ultimate unity with the Divine; while doing purification e.g. inner
healing it is the acceptance of your dark side (shadow); while taking refuge in the Mother
it is the security, that you share with all sentient and non-sentient beings. The ultimate
insight is, that the inner Path includes a continuous growth of compassion. Ultimately,
there is nothing to attain anymore. What is left is to share your inner Essence with every
being in need. The ultimate paradox: after first having turned away from people (in order
to be able to turning within), your fellow human beings eventually liberate you from your
too much. Gratefulness, gratefulness.
Guideline is the Vision of the Grail:
"Awaken!, restructure your life and serve others". See also the extensive Integral Way pages. Subsequently, we offer
further training like Spiritual Service, Health
Service and Community Service.
awareness. In all circumstances you feel bodily contact with your immediate
surroundings: your feet while walking, your buttocks in contact with the chair while
sitting and your back while lying down.
Relax two times a day 5-10 minutes in a straight position, closing your
eyes, while watching the inner side of your eyelids. Noticing that there is a inner
distance between you - the watcher - and the "screen" in front of you. Sooner
or later you see thoughts projected on the screen, realizing: "I am here
and my thoughts are there". Conclusion: "I am not my thinking".
breathing. "Normally" you (unconsciously) identify yourself with your
breathing in. Change this in consciously feeling e.g. emphasizing your breathing
out. You will notice: it disappears into nothingness somewhere deep down,
while continuously emerging from it.
breathing out you whisper "death", while in breathing in
you whisper "rebirth".
"God is omni-present". Imagine the Space around you
is the "Father". How does it feel? Then you imagine it to be the
Great Mother. How does it feel?
Feel the presence of the Mother
always in and around you..